Something to Consider #2

Happy Feet Two is the first movie about penguins

to feature the kiddie version of Marxism in 3D.

A new study has found that men, on average, think about

sex 18.6 times a day, whereas for women the average

is only 9.9 times a day. Subjects of the study ranged

in frequency of thinking about sex from 388 times a

day (Herman Cain) to one time a day (Rick Santorum).

"Adiós!"

"Auf Wiedersehen!"

 "Au Revoir!"

"Ciao!"

 "Goodbye!"

"Salaam!"

"Sayonara!"

 "Shalom!"

"Good Widdance to Bad Wubbish!"

"We understand, Speaker Boehner, that

you're something of an expert when it

comes to turning chicken shit into

chicken salad."

Warm Scuzzies #241

Leeds, Alabama Police Department

"What do you do, sir?"

"I am the owner and operator of the Newton Leroy

Gingrich Ideas Factory."

"The dude in the elephant suit---is he one of the

ideas from your factory."

"Yes, he is."

"I see."

Buddy Roemer pretty much sums up the GOP side of the

 presidential race this way:  "I believe that Mitt Romney

 represents the one percent and I believe that Newt

Gingrich is the lobbyist for the one percent."

Scott Walker's First Amendment

"Congress shall make no law abridging the right of the people

peaceably to assemble and to petition the government for a

redress of grievances, so long as they pay $50 per hour per

 police officer required to keep a watchful eye on them."

Beauty and the Beasts

Backed by his own Army and State Department, Little

Napoleon became increasingly bellicose, making

repeated threats to deploy Poo-Poo Cushions, Joy

Buzzers, Exploding Cigars, and Fake Barf against

the mayors of Newark, Stamford, and Philadelphia.

'Women For Cain' is an online national fellowship of 999

 women dedicated to helping elect Herman Cain as the next

Studmuffin-in-Chief of the United States.

GOP Insider Sez:  “Bigfoot dressed as a circus clown

would have a better chance of beating President

 Obama than Newt Gingrich, a similarly

farcical character.”

The Politico Illustrated #16

'Mitt hits Newt'

"Let that be a lesson to you, Governor Blowsalot!"

Northern White RINO on the Verge of Extinction

"Do you want Holy Land Fig Preserves or Fruits of Galilee Pink

Grapefruit Marmalade on your Jesus toast this morning?"

Little Known Fact #19

In 2011, President Obama has conducted 69 fundraisers

(so far), an average of one every five days.

As Patrick J. Sullivan, Jr. can now attest, if you are 68 years

old, trading meth for sexual favors from recovering drug

 addicts is not what wise men do.

World's Worst Yobs #231

Adam Carolla

Warm Scuzzies #240

American Crystal Sugar Company

If you tried to imagine the stereotype of a greedy bankster,

you couldn't equal or surpass Bank of America's CEO,

Brian Moynihan.

For some reason, 'Joel Osteen' and 'Reality Show' refuse

to cohabitate in the same sentence.

Little Napoleon Sez:  “I have my own army in the NYPD,

which is the seventh biggest army in the world.”

Lori Klein:  Once a Virgin, Now Doing a Hooker's Work

Patrick J. Sullivan, Jr., former Sheriff of the Year, is being

held in the Patrick J. Sullivan, Jr. Detention Facility in

Centennial, Colorado, on charges of trading meth for sex.

The gods of irony have reportedly busted a gut laughing.

Take one look and you understand how lucky Emma Sullivan

 is to not be Ruth Marcus' daughter.

$2 Wafflemaker

$250,000,000 Wafflemaker

Herman Cain Attempts to Congratulate Rick Perry for

Setting New Record:  Two Gaffes in Only 19 Words

The Moose Are Loose and Headed Toward Palin Country

"And if I win this award, I'll have enough money

to buy the rest of my dress."

World's Worst Yobs #230

Daniel Foster

While you weren't watching, Sarah Palin has changed.

Newt Gingrich's Latest Lie: 

"I wouldn't lie to the American people."

Fox News Sez:  "We're Winning the War on Christmas!"

The Sex Addiction Epidemic:  Is It Taxable?

"I've been thinking about inventing age-specific

 pepper spray.  I believe there's a huge untapped

market for it out there."

Rightbloggers and Other

Internet Biohazards #114

Chicago News Bench

Warm Scuzzies #239

U. S. Crane, LLC

Some pols give endorsements.  As Rick

Perry will learn, Joe Arpaio gives the

kiss of death.

They were once called 'Destroyers'.  One percenters now

 call them 'Über Yachts'.  For a mere $150 mil, you, too,

can own one.

"Come back, come back!  We were only kidding about

flying to the moon!"

"Nominal 'Black Friday' in-store riots in 2011 were up

6.6 percent from where they were the year before,

according to ShopperTrak."

Looney Towns #1

Gun Barrel City, Texas

Governor Brownback Plotting His Next Move

Against Sassy Highschool Girls

Yes, Virginia, There Is an Abominable Snowman

What to Wear When You Go

'Competitive Shopping' at

Walmart